Hi, I'm Shell: This Is My Story

Introduction

People often assume Minded Boggle was created from a place of expertise.

In truth, it was born from surviving things no one should ever have to endure, growing through them alone, and realising just how many others are walking through similar darkness without the support they need.

A Childhood Marked by Fear Instead of Safety

From as young as seven, I was responsible for tasks far beyond my years – like making kettle-boiled coffee every single day as if children were meant to be the household barista. Childhood wasn’t safe; it was labour, fear, and silence

My earliest memories aren’t of play or warmth – they’re of fear.

Growing up, even the smallest mistakes could set off punishment – sometimes physical, sometimes frighteningly violent. A spilled drink, a misspoken word, a simple stumble… anything could ignite an outburst. Everyday childhood mishaps felt like walking through a minefield. I learned to tiptoe through life, constantly afraid that simply existing might set something off.

I learned to survive by being hyper-aware.
Always scanning.
Always preparing.
Always bracing.

And underneath it all was a constant looping message:

I carried those words like a weight for years

Trying to Be “Enough” by Being Smart

Academics became my escape.

I believed that if I just knew more – if I was clever enough, prepared enough, perfect enough – maybe I could avoid punishment.

It wasn’t curiosity; it was survival.

But in my teenage years, something shifted. I became rebellious – it was the first time I tasted control of my decisions.
It wasn’t about breaking rules – it was about breaking free, even if only in small ways.

Stuck Between Two Worlds

At 13, I moved from my mother’s strict, frightening environment to my father’s open, supportive home. But the freedom came with a new heavy burden:
my mother worked tirelessly to convince people that I was the problem.

I was trapped between two realities:

The truth I lived

and

The lie others saw

Only my dad’s family knew what was really going on

Emotionally, I was still a child trying to survive, but to the outside world, I looked like a troubled teenager who wasn’t living up to her potential.
School suffered.
Confidence shattered.
And the belief that I was “wrong” followed me into adulthood.

The Promise That Changed Everything

Despite everything, one moment stands out from my childhood – a moment that shaped the rest of my life.

At 11 years old, at my absolute lowest, I told myself:

“My children will never feel the way I feel right now.”

I held onto that promise. It became my anchor. And eventually, it became my purpose.

Breaking Away Only to Break Down

My relationship with my mother became a cycle: hope, contact, harm, then long periods of no-contact to recover.

After my first child was born, the cycle intensified again – especially when planning my wedding. She was meant to provide financial support, but her “help” came with strings, conditions, and control. Then she spent the wedding fund without telling me.

Two weeks before my wedding, I was facing disaster.
Family stepped in to help, but the emotional damage was severe.

The stress triggered a full nervous breakdown.
For three years, I could barely leave the house except for essentials like taking my daughter to school.

Rebuilding Myself Through Knowledge and Self-Work

On an 18-month waiting list for therapy, I turned to what was available to me: learning.

I studied child development, identity formation, and basic psychology, where I slowly uncovered how trauma had shaped my brain, my beliefs, my reactions, my identity.

For the first time, I understood:

But understanding wasn’t the end.
It was the beginning of rebuilding myself from the ground up.

I learned to:

re-parent my inner child
break generational cycles
pause before reacting
recognise triggers
regulate emotions
trust myself
and create the safety I never had as a child

These weren’t overnight wins.
They were slow, invisible shifts that grew stronger over time.

And now, when I look back 5, 10, even 20 years, I can genuinely say:
I’m not the same person – and that’s something worth celebrating.

Motherhood: The Catalyst for Healing

Becoming a mother brought chaos, beauty, fear, and healing all at once.

I struggled with postnatal depression for a while; I believed my daughter deserved a better mother than me. My own mother reinforced these fears, often taking my baby from my arms as if I was incapable.

But through my breakdown, I realised:

My daughter wasn’t proof of my inadequacy – she was proof that I had a reason to grow.

I became determined to be the mum I needed growing up.

Now, with three wonderful children – kind, funny, polite, emotionally aware – I know, when I look at their faces, that I’ve kept the promise I made as a child.
And every day, I continue trying to become the mum I wished I had.

Why Minded Boggle Was Born

After years of studying, healing, supporting others, and rebuilding myself, I noticed something:

People don’t struggle because they’re “weak.”
They struggle because they’re human.

And the world gives them judgement instead of support.

My dream is for Minded Boggle to become not just a hub of wellness but also a “mental health social space” – something like a judgement-free Facebook for mental wellness, where appearance doesn’t matter, and real connection does.

Aims of Minded Boggle:

to make mental wellness accessible and stigma-free
to explain the mind in a way real people understand
to help others rebuild themselves the way I rebuilt myself
to give people tools, validation, and language we were never taught growing up
and to create a space where nobody feels alone inside their own mind

What I Believe

Nobody deserves to feel ashamed for their thoughts.
Trauma doesn’t define you - but understanding it can free you.
Real change happens in tiny, daily shifts.
People don’t need perfection; they need support, compassion, and real examples.
Healing isn’t linear - and that’s okay.
You can break cycles even if you’ve lived inside them your whole life.

Most importantly:

And If My Journey Can Help Someone Else…

If even one person can read my story, my tools, or my resources and think:

“Maybe I can get through this too.”

Then Minded Boggle has already done its job.

Because healing alone is hard;
but healing with understanding, compassion, and community is life-changing.