Self-Deception

The Truth About Deception

Let’s be honest, we all lie

Denying it would be hypocritical – even those who claim they’re truthful don’t always grasp the intricacies of deception. We fabricate false statements (aka lies) to conceal the truth, making it more convincing. What we don’t consider is that our minds process the lies and truth the same way.

The more we lie, the easier it becomes to do

Over repetition our brains become desensitised to the idea of lying, and we may start to believe our own lies. This can have dire consequences in both our personal and professional lives, as lying erodes trust and damages relationships. It’s important to remember that honesty is always the best policy, and that telling the truth, even when it’s difficult, is the foundation of strong and healthy relationships.

So let’s all make a conscious effort to be more truthful and transparent in our interactions with others and more importantly with ourselves.

What is Self-Deception?

Have you ever…

Found yourself in a situation where you know what you are doing is wrong, yet you convince yourself that it is okay? That, my friend, is self-deception. It is a common phenomenon that occurs when we lie to ourselves to feel better about a situation or to justify our actions.

Self-deception can take many forms

From denying facts to justifying bad behaviour, it’s a way of protecting our ego and self-esteem. When we deceive ourselves, we create a false reality that we find more comfortable than the truth. For example, if we are struggling with addiction, we may convince ourselves that we can stop anytime we want, even though we know it is not true.

To avoid self-deception:

It is important to be honest with ourselves and acknowledge our flaws and mistakes. It takes courage to face the truth and make changes, but it is essential for personal growth and well-being. Remember, there is no shame in admitting our faults and seeking help when needed.

While self-deception may provide temporary relief, it can have negative consequences in the long run. It may prevent us from addressing our problems and lead to poor decision-making. It can also harm our relationships with others and prevent us from seeing their perspectives.

Understanding Self-Deception

The Role of Child Development

Many mental discrepancies can be attributed to child development, and awareness of self-deception stems from the ability to distinguish between fact and fiction. This skill typically starts to develop around the age of 4-5 when rational thinking emerges. As children grow and mature, their cognitive development is influenced by their experiences. If a child is never exposed to deception, their brain won’t develop the necessary skills to recognise it. This can lead to misinterpretation of information and fuel self-deception.

Cycle of Self-Deception

Confirmation Bias

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you’ve lied (knowingly) and then scrambled to justify it with a cycle of reasonable excuses? This is called confirmation bias or self-deception. The brain can forget the original truth and create its own based on available information. This cycle can wire the brain’s neural network, making lying seem more acceptable. In fact, the more you lie, the more your brain may think it’s normal. What’s more, the brain’s ability to fill in gaps of information available, using the lies it believes are factual, is likely to cause a wide range of cognitive distortions.

Distorted Beliefs

One of the biggest issues with self-deception is that we often don’t recognise the falsehoods we’ve come to believe. This happens because once we’ve internalised a belief, our brain accepts it as true and recalls it as such. With enough repetition, the original truth becomes buried in our subconscious, causing internal conflicts to be suppressed. Since the brain no longer brings the truth to the forefront of our consciousness, we begin to accept the lie as the truth. Eventually, lying can become as natural as reflexes like closing your eyes when you sneeze. But how can we prevent ourselves from believing falsehoods?

Trusting Your Instincts:

Why Seeking Authenticity is Key

Self-deception can lead us down a dangerous path, as we make decisions based on false information. This can cause us to harm ourselves or others, as well as damage our relationships. It’s important to be self-aware and to question our beliefs and assumptions regularly. By doing so, we can identify any false beliefs and work to replace them with the truth.

What You Should Know

This process can be difficult, but it’s necessary for personal growth and development. With time and practice, we can train our brains to recognise and accept the truth, even when it goes against what we’ve previously believed. Choosing to be honest can help your brain change its beliefs. Ultimately, this can lead us to a more fulfilling and authentic life.

It’s not always a good idea to divulge your deepest, darkest thoughts to anyone who will listen – this can backfire. Trust is an essential component of honesty, but it’s crucial to know who you can confide in. However, before you can trust anyone else, you first need to believe in yourself, which isn’t always easy. Making impulsive decisions based on confirmation bias often leads to regrettable actions.

Why We Lie

Consequences That Follow

Picture this: you’re starting a new job and you’re running late. The pressure is on, so you come up with an excuse to get away with it. Your brain begins to engage in self-deception, and the excuse you offer probably isn’t the truth. The outcome of the situation will determine whether you’ll use the same excuse again. If you’re reprimanded, you’ll likely try harder not to be late again. But if your excuse is accepted, your brain will register that it’s okay to be late if you have a valid reason. Eventually, you’ll convince yourself that it’s okay to be late without an excuse.

“It Won’t Happen Again”

This is an example of the self-deception cycle, and often how others respond to our lies determines why we allow ourselves to continue. If you get too comfortable with being late, you may lose your job or people may stop relying on you or believing in you. The phrase, “It won’t happen again,” is often a lie we tell ourselves. But why do we lie in the first place?

Lying and Denial

Impacts on Mental Health and Long-Term Wellbeing

Lying is a common defence mechanism that falls under the category of denial. Despite its prevalence, it raises the question of whether it’s acceptable. While lying offers immediate protection, it can have severe long-term consequences, especially if it leads to job loss or other negative outcomes. To safeguard your mental health and overall wellbeing, it’s essential to be truthful with yourself about your experiences. If you find yourself lying impulsively, take a step back and retrace your steps to ensure your brain doesn’t believe it.

Being Truthful to Yourself

In self-help, the most crucial aspect is being truthful with oneself. Acknowledging that there is a problem is the first step in finding a solution. Your brain tends to ignore anything it doesn’t perceive as a conflict, which is understandable as there’s no point in seeking solutions to problems that don’t exist. However, when certain behaviours are problematic, and we deceive ourselves about them, how do we advance?

Being honest with oneself goes beyond just fessing up to fibs, it also involves the lies you let yourself believe like self-insults or doubting your beliefs. It involves reconnecting with your true self. And, believe us, it’s only worth the effort if it’s what you truly want. So, it’s a crucial step that deserves a daily spot on your schedule if you’re serious about self-improvement.

Transforming Your Future Outlook

Embrace Your Journey and Pursue Your Dreams

It’s possible to alter the course of your future only if you’re willing to put in the work. Dedication and hard work are essential to improving oneself. The first step can be intimidating, but it’s okay to take it one day at a time. Be patient with yourself; perfection cannot be reached overnight. Remember, your journey starts with you. Embrace your inner self and pave your way with confidence.

Finding Your Way

If you’re feeling unhappy in your career, struggling with parenting, or weighed down by past experiences, you’re not alone. With the cost of living skyrocketing, it’s no surprise that many of us feel lost. The good news is that there are ways to rediscover your path.

Let’s explore some options to help you get back on track:

  • Identify what makes you feel fulfilled and happy

  • Take small steps towards your goals

  • Seek support from friends, family or a professional

  • Practice self-care and mindfulness

  • Embrace new experiences and challenges

Taking the First Step to Self-Help:

“I want to do something about how I think/feel/behave”

Acknowledging that you need to make changes in your life is the first step to self-improvement. But it’s not always easy to be honest with yourself. Once you’ve got past that hurdle, there are many paths you can take to achieve your goals. As you explore our content library, you may discover overlapping information, which can be beneficial. It ensures that regardless of which path you choose, you’ll have all the relevant information you need to succeed.

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10 months ago

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